In the workplace, professional courtesy is often encouraged as a way to maintain harmony. However, when this courtesy morphs into artificial harmony—a state where individuals suppress their real thoughts and emotions to avoid conflict—it can have unintended consequences for team performance. While the intent behind avoiding confrontation may be to keep the peace, the long-term effects can be detrimental to collaboration, trust, and ultimately, results.
Through learning interventions, I have observed key patterns that highlight how artificial harmony plays out in teams:
- Discomfort with Giving and Receiving Feedback
Many individuals struggle with providing or accepting straightforward feedback. Instead of finding an objective and rational space for constructive conversations, feedback is either softened to the point of being ineffective or avoided entirely. Chronic stress and workplace pressures exacerbate this issue, as employees fear that honest conversations might add more strain rather than contribute to solutions. The result? A workplace riddled with passive-aggressive behaviours and resentment, eroding motivation and engagement. The paradox here is that while honest feedback is critical for effective problem-solving, the fear of conflict keeps teams from accessing their best solutions. - Lack of Vulnerability and Openness About Strengths and Weaknesses
Many team members hesitate to share their strengths and weaknesses openly. This reluctance stems from a fear of being judged or appearing incompetent, yet the unintended consequence is that it hinders trust and fosters assumptions. When team members are unaware of each other’s capabilities, they may misjudge competence, leading to inefficiencies and missed opportunities for collaboration. Vulnerability is the foundation of trust, and without it, teams remain in a surface-level state of cooperation rather than achieving true synergy. - Leaders Avoiding Their ‘Critical Parent’ Role
Leaders often shy away from setting clear expectations and consequences, assuming that because their teams consist of adults, everyone should naturally know what is expected of them. However, age does not equate to maturity in workplace behavior. As Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis suggests, the ‘Adult’ ego state is defined by rationality, objectivity, and the ability to address challenges unemotionally. Yet, many leaders hesitate to engage their ‘Critical Parent’ role proactively, leading to unclear performance expectations and a lack of accountability. When leaders fail to establish these parameters upfront, performance management becomes reactive at best and entirely absent at worst. This avoidance fosters confusion, frustration, and ultimately, disengagement within teams.
Moving from Artificial Harmony to Constructive Collaboration
So, how do teams and leaders navigate away from artificial harmony and towards a more authentic, high-performing culture? Here are a few key strategies:
- Normalise Feedback as a Growth Tool: Create a culture where feedback is expected and valued, rather than feared. Encourage regular check-ins where feedback is exchanged in a way that is constructive and solution-focused.
- Cultivate Psychological Safety: Leaders must set the tone by being open about their own strengths and areas for improvement, modelling the vulnerability they wish to see in their teams.
- Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries: Leaders should not shy away from establishing upfront expectations, consequences, and accountability structures. Clarity removes ambiguity and ensures that teams operate with aligned priorities.
- Encourage Healthy Conflict: Disagreement, when managed effectively, leads to better decision-making. Teams must move away from avoiding conflict and towards embracing diverse perspectives to drive innovation and problem-solving.
Artificial harmony may feel comfortable in the short term, but it stifles growth, trust, and performance. True collaboration requires the courage to engage in honest conversations, the willingness to be vulnerable, and the discipline to set and maintain clear expectations. By making these shifts, teams can transform from polite co-existence to truly high-performing units where respect, trust, and accountability coexist.
Call to Action
At Circle & Square, we use Transactional Analysis as a tool to build a common language for growth discussions. Having ADULT conversations becomes a priority for every individual. If your team struggles with artificial harmony and you want to create a culture of trust, accountability, and effective collaboration, let’s connect and start the conversation today.
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